Friday, Friends and Panties
January 18, 2008Friday… whooohooo.. I am totally ready for the weekend. Work was insane earlier in the week, but today.. not so much. I think I may cut out early (like at 2) and head home, enjoy some quiet time (Dad is at work) and watch some tv and maybe get a nap. Last night.. I kid you not, I fell asleep on the couch at 7:30! At 8, I woke up, took my medicine (PIO and estra*ce) and then went upstairs to bed!
So yesterday I was reading in a pregnancy book that thong undergarments are not good for your girlie bits. It said that they somehow can increase the chances of UTI… Well, I am queen of the thong. But, I don’t want to get an UTI stuff going on down there.. so… I headed to Walmart and picked up some new soft cotton white low rise briefs. They are very comfy. I like them so far. They don’t ride up your tush and they are very soft. No itchie band and they cover my bigger backside well 
I got some extra junk in my trunk and that can be a problem at times..
I know I know.. the title of my post was Friday, Friends and Panties and I am totally out of order.. but it sounded better as a title .. so pardon me for the lack of order in my post as compared to my title! But… onto the friends part. I know that I have been distant with friends IRL.. because most of them don’t understand the struggle it was to get to where I am today. Because when I did spend time with them.. I got all those stupid remarks.. just relax… we all can’t be parents.. maybe it isn’t meant to be.. we all have to wait for things.. you know.. shit like that. Now… not all fertiles are this way.. I have SOO many friends here in blogland that got pregnant without the help of ART, though they faced other sorts of struggles to get there. But they understand.. they have compassion.. probably because they struggled as well.. just not in the same way as me. Nonetheless.. IRL.. there has been one friend that just didn’t get it. LENA. I know I have spoken of her in the past. I even threw that girl a baby shower. Now granted, after she had Gunner in April.. I have only seen him a 1/2 dozen times… but .. it is what it is.. Spending time with her and her baby didn’t sound like a whole lotta fun. Jealous.. SURE I WAS… I mean heck.. she got pregnant on try number one while her and her hubby are potheads… NOT FAIR.. but, I digress. After my U/S at 6 weeks, I sent a note to my friends IRL telling them the good news. Everyone (even the ones I hadnt seen in ages or spent time with) was happy… everyone was thrilled actually. So happy for me, etc.. Lena’s response. “congrats.. i hope you have an easy pregnancy”. That was it. OK.. I thought it weird.. but whatever.
Fast forward to 8 week u/s. I sent a note to the same friends and again.. excitement and congrats from all around. Not a word from Lena. On Thursday I sent a note to Lena and Linda because Linda had brought over some maternity clothes for me that she had and that were a mix of her and Lena’s. Well, most of ‘em didn’t fit or if they fit… they wouldn’t fit for long.. and besides, my sister gave me a TON of her old stuff. So anyway, I sent Lena and Linda an email saying “Hey guys, I have two bags of maternity clothes that are yours that don’t fit .. I don’t know whose are whose though.. what would you like me to do with them.. let me know”. Linda was like.. oh sorry they don’t fit… most of them are Lena’s anyway…except for x, y and z. Lena responds.. “just give them to Linda, I can always get them from Linda later if I need them.” That was it. Why should Linda babysit her clothes.. I don’t know.. I just found it rude and cold.. BLAH..
Maybe I am being moody. But my gut tells me that she is probably pissed because I hadn’t seen her since Oct at Elayna’s wedding. Pardon me for being busy with my life. But she is one of those “high maintenence” friends. I can’t do high maintenence. I have enough friends that are happy and supportive and excited. 99% of them I hadn’t seen in more than 9 months. It just showed me that some people just can’t relate and are just too self centered to understand what anyone else is going through. I hate self centered people.
My point.. I don’t know.. I think I just needed to vent and get it out. What exactly I was getting out.. beats the heck outta me, but it feels better to write it. I am angry.. I know that. Not because I lost a friend… but because throughout life, I try soo hard to be kind and supportive and understanding. I am passionate about being a good person and caring. How can you not be? What kind of life do you have if you get angry and hurt and bitter because so and so doesn’t call .. It just seems so self centered and so high school.
Well… TGIF everyone. This weekend will be a restful one. While I rest, I will be thinking of many of you. Hugs and love to each of you
I totally get what you are saying. Its so hard to figure out friends sometimes…its big intense situations like this where you really begin to figure out who are lifers in friend land, you know? Maybe thats why I haven’t confided in too many people IRL about whats going on with E and I. I just feel that they wont “get it” and will say something stupid/ignorant/hurtful.
Congrats also of a very wonderful sounding U/S!!
Ug- high mantience friends become your stalkers if you aren’t careful. Well, mine did at least. Maybe she is jealous? Who knows- all I do know is that I am happy for ya and if you stick with the IRL friends (and us muppets) we will always stand by your side! :X Have a fab weekend!
Oh goodie, I get to be the first to respond. My first thought on your blog today is in regards to Lena…been there, done that…just this past week, in fact! You took the words right out of my mouth, or mind, rather, when you said she’s a “high maintenance” friend! I can’t do high maintenance either!! I’ve had this friend Netty that I’ve been very close, you could almost say “best” friends with for about 11 years. I’ve watched her daughter grow up (she just went off to college), we’ve gone on many vacations together before and after Liam was born, etc, etc, etc. Well, forgive me for being so, but I’m a little “consumed” lately with my fertility issues. I haven’t been the BEST friend I could be lately, but it’s really just because I tend to close in when I’m depressed, rather than call and dump my problems on other people…ESPECIALLY those that have not faced infertility and wouldn’t understand anyway. Well, Netty calls me last week and wants to know why I don’t call her much, why I don’t come around…so I open up and pour my heart out. I tell her it’s because I’m depressed and I just don’t call anyone (not just her) and that I dont’ want to burden people with my degrading mood. She seems half-hearted in saying that we’ve been friends for years and I can call her whenever I need to talk…oh ok…and THEN 2 days later she leaves me a message on my machine that she just feels our friendship doesn’t mean anything to me anymore and she’s choosing to END it and she will NOT be calling me anymore because I’m too obsessed with my fertility problem!!!!!! WTF??? You’re kidding, right?? You BEG me to pour my heart out just so you can stomp all over it and SHIT on me?? Sorry, guess it’s a vent fest here on your blog today…but whew, do I feel better!!! lol I hope you do too. Guess my whole point is this: I’m just trying to look at the Lena’s and Netty’s of the world and tell myself that there ARE people like that and it’s MY choice if I choose to be friends with those poeple..or I can choose NOT to include them in my life.
Life is hard enough without having such high maintenance friends!!!! RIGHT?? 
Include me in your list of supporters that are SOOOO ecstatic for you!!! 
I have and have had friends like that. I still have a few in my life who I try to limit contact with since having high maintenance friends who make you feel like it’s work to be around them drive me nuts and I’m trying to eliminate that. Difficult to do since I’m such a softy. It hurts but sometimes just allowing the distance is the easiest thing.
Oh and I so know what you mean about panties. Except thongs. I’ve always figured I look awful in one so no point in wearing it. But nothing like a good pair that stays put.
I have a friend (recently pregnant on IUI #6) who told me that I was trying to outdo her by having twins…amazing, huh? You may have to have a “friend breakup” for your own sanity!
Sounds like Lena has a bad case of ItsAllAboutMe-itis. People with IAAM-itis will suck the life out of you when they have something going on, but don’t have the time of day for you when you have something going on. I’m well-acquainted with them, unfortunately. They tend to be attracted to people who are good listeners and who work to keep friendships intact.
Sorry you had to deal with this! It’s fortunate that it happened earlier in your pg rather than later because now you know not to count on her, but I’m sure it still stings and can’t be much fun.
Wow, PEPPER has nailed my thoughts 100% Esp the IAAM-itis. Glad you are physically feeling pretty though Tracey. I am updated my Blog tonight so check me out, Blog sister. Please also e-mail me if you want to share IM Handle ID’s Sassy T.
I have a friend, a really good one, that still tells me that if I am positive that I will get knocked up. um. yeah. She is also a fan of the, “it all happens for a reason”. Maybe I will learn that when I am dead- but in the thick of life I don’t want to think that there was a reason for all of my PAIN.
friends, even the great ones, sometimes just don’t get it.
xo
argh… Some people just don’t get what it is to be a friend. Sorry you’ve got one of those. You are a dear and deserve the best! And I’m late, but congrats on the healthy singleton!! Your joy is palpable, even virtually.
I know that this post is old but I did a serch on the internet about pregnancy and friendship. I am the first one of my friends to get married and have children. My husband and my son are the most important people in my life. Watching my son grow up the past 10 months has be a time I will always tresure. I have a close friend who we have been friends since the 8th grade. I feel like she has completly cut me out of her life and wants nothing to do with me. I don’t have the time I used to obviously. I just bought a home and work full time. I feellike if I don’t go to a bar to hang out, I am off of the social circuit. She said that she wanted to be a big part of my sons life. I can count on one hand how many times she has seen my baby. It hurts and I am worried about when my son gets older.