Conversations of a Surrogate and a Phlebotomist

Well, Deb got to go into today to take ber Beta… but not until 3pm.  Since it was so late, I imagine that the results will not be in until tomorrow sometime.  I will be calling and bugging people if I don’t hear by 11am tomorrow (Tuesday).  Stay Tuned For That.  In the meantime, enjoy the convo that took place at the lab ~

So today Deb went to a lab she has not gone to before.  It started as a visit to Q*uest and when she arrived, they were kind enough to tell her that if she went next door to Uni*lab that the draw would be covered by her insurance.  The gal there was SUPER nice and walked her over and delivered her to Uni*lab and the lab request and Uni*lab said they would do the draw no problem.  The conversation upon being called back for the actual blood draw went as follows:

Bloodman (the phlebotomist) – Good Afternoon

Debbie – Hi There

Bloodman – Is this your first pregnancy?

Debbie – No, my third.  But this is really my sisters pregnancy.  I am a surrogate for her.

Bloodman – Oh …… how does that work?

Debbie – (with an inquisitive look on her face wondering how to answer this as she was perplexed that he would really take the conversation to this level and not leave it be at the “I am a surrogate for her”)  What do you mean?

Bloodman – I mean how does it work?  Do they take her egg and fertilize it and then put it in you? (Clearly he has an idea of how it works or he wouldn’t be asking this NOSEY ASS QUESTION)

Debbie – Well in this situation, it is a traditional surrogacy so it is my egg and donor sperm. 

Bloodman – So, technically it is YOUR baby.

Debbie – No, it is not my baby, it is my sisters baby.

Bloodman – Well it is your egg and your carrying it.  So your giving her your baby.  Isn’t that weird?  Isn’t that going to be hard to explain?  Isn’t that going to be hard to do… to give her your baby?

Debbie  – (at a loss because she can’t believe he is saying this to her) Well I love my sister very much so….

Bloodman – Well you must if you are doing that.  Alright, all done.

Debbie – (still wondering if she is in the Twilight Zone or if people really do ask these questions and realizing that she is going to have to plan for the next stranger that feels entitled to ask those types of questions) Great.  Thanks.

Debbie gets in the car and calls me and tells me  that she wishes to NOT return to that place for a beta again.  She then tells me the story.  We need to work on how to deal with this situation because clearly it is going to come up because if it came up once.. it will come up again.


11 thoughts on “Conversations of a Surrogate and a Phlebotomist

  1. I met someone who decided to give her ‘oops’ baby to her sister. She told people it was her sister’s baby even though it wasn’t intended initially.

    Maybe just not even offer any more information than necessary. Good luck . . .both with the explanation and especially with the pregnancy.

  2. 😦 How dare he insist it is not your baby and then talk about Deb having to give baby up. Just how dare he! What the hell does he know. Hope you don’t get to encounter more creeps like him, but it probably is a good idea to sit and figure how to deal with it just in case.

  3. Weird. He sounds like someone who possibly had strong feelings about or against traditional surrogacy etc. Still at work is where you keep your opinions to yourself. As far as how to address it, with strangers I don’t know that I would. Especially with people you are unlikely to see ever again. If she has to go back to that lab, request to not have him as her phlebotomist as he made her uncomfortable.

  4. What is it with the blood suckers and stupid comments/questions? At my clinic early on I told one of the girls drawing my blood that I had done egg donor there 8 years ago and she told me that being an egg donor reduces your fertility. First of all, NO and second of all, why would you say such a thing to someone there to get pregnant right in front of you?!!?!? I wrote her off as an ignorant twit. Funny thing is she does the best blood draws I’ve ever had. I don’t even notice the needle going in at all.

  5. That must’ve been the strangest conversation. Very weird response. Most people, you would think, after your sister had said its not her baby – would leave it at that, regardless of what they thought.

  6. If you figure it out, can you please share with me??? Me and my TS get this all the time and it’s SO FREAKIN’ ANNOYING!!! The rudeness of prying questions and then the ignorant conclusion-drawing… UGH.

    I have been compulsively checking your blog all day waiting for your update! This is torture for me! UPDATE us ASAP!!!!

    I’m soooooo praying that you get your good news tomorrow.

  7. That’s horrible! He is so nosey and I can’t believe he would say such things. I’m so sorry you guys had to go through that. 😦

    I’m sooooo praying for awesome news!!!

  8. Wow.

    I get curiosity but… This is just none of his business.

    Sorry she had to go through that! Hoping for good news today.

  9. What the hell? You need to call that guys boss. He had no right to say that shit to Debbie. Love you girls, sorry about the dick at the lab.

  10. I hate to say it, but it’s a good idea to be prepared for this sort of thing. It sucks, but people can be truly thoughtless about what they think is okay to say. I ran into this recently when talking to someone about donor embryos. I can’t find an email addy here for you, but if you email me, I’ll tell you about it. dorasblog at gmail

    On the other hand, I think it might be a good idea to report this guy to a supervisor. It was totally unprofessional.

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