Something New

I didn’t want to do it, but I have to.  I hate doing it, but it’s a must at this point.  After 4 years (it will be 4 in August) and the realization that I still have a ton of expenses on the horizon, I have added a “donate” button.  It’s there… to the right at the top.  See It?  If you click on the Flag of Kazakhstan you are directed to pay**pal.  So ya, I kinda have a big wall o pride .  Always have.  I always lived by the mantra, “where there is a will there is a way”.  I still believe that.  Only thing is, I now believe that way will involve the generosity of others.   Oh am still working my ass off and trying to get out there and take as many family portraits as I can.  I am still waiting on the nice weather so I can have a big huge giant garage sale and sell anything that I absolutely do not need.  But it is going to take a wee bit more than that.  I have tried so hard over the last 4 years to not talk or complain too much about money.  I always thought that if I did complain, someone would say, “well how do you expect to raise a child if you can’t afford this or this?”.  Well I have gone a long way without asking for anything, from anyone.  I have sacrificed so much over the past 4 years to pay for this IVF or that IVF or this IUI or that IUI.  I spent so much money that it literally makes my stomach turn to think about it.  Well, here is am asking for help….  So…. anyway, there it is and if you feel so inclined at any time… it’s there.

Nothing much going on right now on the adoption front.  I got a call from the Home Study agency this afternoon saying I needed to send them a few more hundred dollars before they would release some paperwork.  Once I get it, I am guessing the early part of next week, then I will gather up all the misc letters and docs.  My friend Bonnie is going to notarize everything for free for me (whoot whoot for free stuff!).  The only two things she will not be able to do are the 171H since that will not be here when I go see her the weekend of the 7th and also the guardian acceptance letter from my sister and BIL.  Since I am single I have to assign a guardian to my child and they in return need to accept that guardianship in a notarized letter. 

Well…  that is about all.  I think stressing over asking for help wore me out.  Not to mention I have a cold so I can’t wait to get home and take some Nyquil and fall asleep!  On to tomorrow!


5 thoughts on “Something New

  1. Tracey,
    I read this and I immediately was brought back to all the financial worries we had right before BOTH of our adoptions.
    I never believed in the saying, ‘God will provide.’ I mean, what does that mean anyway?
    When Kayla came along, he showed me what that meant. We were countless thousands of dollars into, ummm, I forget how many IUI’s..9?
    We JUST had a miscarriage from our IVF. We were STILL paying the payments. We saved NO money the past 5 years. It all went to IUI and IVF. There was absolutely no way we could pay for an adoption. None.

    But, we still went ahead with it hoping it would work out. We saved hard, had a yard sale, sold on Ebay. I made quilts. Maxed out TWO credit cars, sold Nick’s car, borrowed money from a family member. We had friends donate to our adoption fund, which paid ALL of our home study cost.

    At the end of the adoption, we had JUST enough money down to a few cents. No kidding. God provided what we needed. To this day, I still dont know how.

    Not much was different with Caden’s adoption. This time we REALLY had no money. Nick even called off the adoption for several days and begged me to call our Birth Mother to break the news to her. But I put it off and didnt give up. We JUST had finished paying off our last credit card from Kayla’s adoption. Nick JUST bought that same month a brand new car, 30,000….when he got back from deployment. We had not much money saved up because we worked so hard at paying off the debt from Kayla’s adoption.

    So again, we maxed out a credit card all over again. We sold BOTH of our cars. We cleared out the little bit of savings that we has JUST started to build back up again.

    Somehow…GOD PROVIDED…again. Actually….we came out to be about $467.00 short.

    I look back all the time and honestly, I dont know how we made it. But it was mean to be and every penny we needed, we somehow had.

    GOD PROVIDED. Or someone up there watching out for us did.

    I have no doubts the same will be for you too.

  2. Tracey,

    I don’t know anyone who has tried as hard as you have..all the while maintaining a smile and a positive outlook. We all need help sometimes honey, and you are deserving of a little hand up. You work so without, and have become very creative in trying to make money to bring Apple shame in asking for a little help…none at all.

    Love you girl,

    Apples Aunt B

  3. My husband and I just sort of had a break down about the money too. We had to sit down, see where we could cut and how we can make this work. If I start to think about the trip, as excited as I am, I get anxious. It is so hard! But we will all find a way! It all will work out in the end. I wish I had some great advise, but I don’t. However, I offer support and understanding since we are around the same point as you are. Wishing you nothing but the best!

  4. It sucks so bad that the money aspect is such a big part of family building for so many of us. I know it’s so difficult asking for help. I hope things continue to go well for you and that your photography stuff takes off well. Hugs to you.

  5. There’s nothing wrong in asking for help babe. You have to do whatever it takes to get you to that end goal.

    We have spent the equivalent of $47k and it still pains me to think of that amount of money. BUT when your Apple is in your arms and you look back in 10 years time, the happy memories will be what you remember, not the $’s.

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