Family – Familja – Clan

If there is one thing about me that I think I have made pretty clear in my blog is how close of a family I have.  I LOVE my family.  Every single crazy one of them.  We are loud (very loud) and we gossip and we sometimes have a hard time keeping our thoughts contained until we actually think about the words that will come out of mouth.  But we do love each other.  We say I love you all the time.  We hug a lot and we are touchy feely.  We call to say hi and sing happy birthday to each other on your birthday on the phone first thing in the morning.  

Here is a little about me…….

My mother is Maltese.  From Malta.  She came here when she was a little girl.  The Maltese side of my family (familja tiegħi) is tight.    We get together often and support each other no matter what.  Through the past years, my mother has been there for me.  I remember in January 2008 when I lost Love Bug.  My mother cried with me on the phone.  She just sat there and cried and cried right along with me.  She knew how much I wanted that baby.  She felt my pain.  She wanted to take it away.  I know that is what mothers do.  I was 34 years old yet I still needed my mother.  I needed her support and her love and her hugs.  After that, this TTC stuff got hard for her.  I think it got harder for her then me because she was watching from the outside.  Maybe she could see past the brave face and saw that I was fighting my way through a battle that was nearly impossible to win.  When I told her about the adoption she was very happy.  But she hasn’t really said anything about it.  She listens and she doesn’t ask questions because I think she doesn’t want to ask the wrong the thing or make me nervous or worried.  I get it and I don’t mind because really there is nothing going on at this point.  I mean until I get a Letter Of Invitation it is pretty boring.  Well today, my sister was with our Mom.  Debbie said Mommy said that she is getting SO excited for me and for a new grandchild.  That made me feel REALLY good. 

My father is Scottish.  From Scotland.  He came here on the Queen Mary when he was a little boy. The Scottish side, well we are not as tight.  A few weeks ago my little cousin (she was 20) passed away from a drug overdose.  It made me realize that even though I sometimes say hi on FB to some of the cousins on that side; I need to make an effort to check in and write notes.  I need to ask what is going on, because you can be gone just like that.  And then you are left sending flowers to a funeral not knowing exactly what to say……. 

I know this post is sort of all over the board.  Sorry.  I just have a lot of thoughts in my head these days and maybe I am not super organized on how I am getting them out.  So here is a questions for you…..  I am curious…  is the difference if family closeness from one side to another common?  Is it more common to be closer to the maternal side vs the paternal side?  Is it possible to be “tight” with both sides?

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6 thoughts on “Family – Familja – Clan

  1. It’s great that you are close to at least part of your family. I’m not really although I’d like to be. At least to my dad’s side. I’m still not convinced my mom’s side isn’t crazy. It’s funny though because I used to be really close to all my cousins and grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. Now we hardly ever see each other or talk. I have recently though started connecting with some of them again (via facebook) and it’s nice. Leads me to want more. I hope you’re able to connect with more with some of the family members from your dad’s side.

  2. It’s so hard to be close to everyone…to send notes…make phone calls…remember all the details. I think it has a lot to do with geography and who you feel most comfortable with. An unexpected death does a lot to put things in perspective for a little while, but it’s just so hard! Sorry about your loss…isn’t it great to have a Mom you can lean on?

  3. I didn’t grow up knowing my Father or his family so it is ever so easy for me to be close to just my Mom’s family as that is all I have known! I imagine whatever family you spend holidays with as a child is the one that will be the side you gravitate towards. But what do I know??!!

  4. Hmm, well..I’m not super close with either side of my family. I was closest to a cousin from my father side, but he has been gone for 8 years last month. It works both ways though..no matter how much you crave the closeness, they have to want it too. So, sounds like your mothers side of the family (and you) wins.

  5. I too, am Maltese! Our family is really tight. My dad is Maltese and my mom is Polish and German. I kind of think it is the Maltese way~ LOL~~ We are close with both sides…however the older we get, sometimes life gets in the way and we are a little slower to “check in” with my aunts, uncles and cousins.

    I enjoy being with my family, my sisters, parents, brother in laws, neices and nephews. I think as B, they have to want it as much as you do.

  6. Oh Tracey, you are one lucky gal. I only WISH my Mother wanted to be a part of mine and our children’s life. But I supposed it’s better that she not.
    My father is also not a part of my family for many reasons. So, in my case I am not close to either side. In fact I havent seen either side in 5+ years. Sad, but very true. I wish I could change it knowing that we wont be on this earth forever. But…it’s not the case.

    However, I am very close to Nick’s family. In fact, at times I feel I was birthed by them rather than my own blood family.

    I am close to my sister. As close as 8,000 miles apart and no privacy on my sister’s end allows us. Again, sad but true.

    You are more lucky than words can be said from my mouth, to have this family of yours. I admit…Im jealous!

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