Today will be a sort of melting pot of the thoughts in my head. There is a lot going on in there there days. I mean there of course is the usual. The “where in the hell is my 171H?” and the “I wonder if Kaz will open back up in August or September” and the always present “Damn this is a lot of money and I hope I can make it all come together!”.
But I do think of other things …. For example I have been REALLY trying to make an effort to be more social. For the last 4 years I have sort of lived and breathed TTC. It was cyles and stimming and waiting and crying and … well you get the idea. So there really wasn’t anything left of me to give to friends. I have been the kind of gal that loves to make plans and then the day of…. I think .. damn I hope they cancel. Well I stopped that thinking a few months ago. And even though I have flaker moments (like about the party on Sat night) I am trying to work past them. So, I will NOT be calling in sick to this party. I will go and I will socialize and drink wine on somone elses dime 😉 I have also been making dinner plans with friends and even made a few new friends. It feels good to laugh and get out and get some makeup on. You know, I happen to be a pretty funny person. Amazing huh because I am pretty convinced I come off as a bore here!
Work. I admit it. I haven’t been giving 100%. I just can’t put my finger on why. I was thinking maybe taking some time off would help but I don’t think that is it. I feel like do good at work my personal life needs to be aligned. And, even though I go out with friends and have fun, I wish I had someone to hold and give me a hug when this adoption stuff starts to suffocate me. Sometimes I feel like I am carrying such a heavy load on my own. I have family there to vent to and to reassure me.. but having a man there to let me feel vulnerable and weak would feel so good. See I told you this post was all over the board! Still talking to Single Dad. There has been no date asking.. just a whole lotta talking .. So basically I fall back on the old movie… if he hasn’t asked you out “He’s Just Not That Into You”!
Oh guess what .. Kari gave me a blog button! I haven’t got one in a while! THANK YOU KARI! I sure could use this hug today!!
What else….. uhhhhhhh How about a game?? Shall We?? I have seen other bloggers do this and I would love to know if anyone has ANY questions of singletracey?? Anything?? Leave a comment with your question and I will answer them all Next Week 🙂