A Melting Pot

Today will be a sort of melting pot of the thoughts in my head.  There is a lot going on in there there days.   I mean there of course is the usual.  The “where in the hell is my 171H?” and the “I wonder if Kaz will open back up in August or September” and the always present “Damn this is a lot of money and I hope I can make it all come together!”. 

But I do think of other things ….  For example I have been REALLY trying to make an effort to be more social.  For the last 4 years I have sort of lived and breathed TTC.  It was cyles and stimming and waiting and crying and … well you get the idea.  So there really wasn’t anything left of me to give to friends.  I have been the kind of gal that loves to make plans and then the day of…. I think .. damn I hope they cancel.  Well I stopped that thinking a few months ago.  And even though I have flaker moments (like about the party on Sat night) I am trying to work past them.  So, I will NOT be calling in sick to this party.  I will go and I will socialize and drink wine on somone elses dime 😉   I have also been making dinner plans with friends and even made a few new friends.  It feels good to laugh and get out and get some makeup on.  You know, I happen to be a pretty funny person.  Amazing huh because I am pretty convinced I come off as a bore here! 

Work.  I admit it.  I haven’t been giving 100%.  I just can’t put my finger on why.  I was thinking maybe taking some time off would help but I don’t think that is it.  I feel like do good at work my personal life needs to be aligned.  And, even though I go out with friends and have fun, I wish I had someone to hold and give me a hug when this adoption stuff starts to suffocate me.  Sometimes I feel like I am carrying such a heavy load on my own.  I have family there to vent to and to reassure me.. but having a man there to let me feel vulnerable and weak would feel so good.  See I told you this post was all over the board!  Still talking to Single Dad.  There has been no date asking.. just a whole lotta talking .. So basically I fall back on the old movie… if he hasn’t asked you out “He’s Just Not That Into You”! 

Oh guess what .. Kari gave me a blog button!  I haven’t got one in a while!  THANK YOU KARI!  I sure could use this hug today!!

What else…..  uhhhhhhh  How about a game??  Shall We??  I have seen other bloggers do this and I would love to know if anyone has ANY questions of singletracey??  Anything??  Leave a comment with your question and I will answer them all Next Week 🙂

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8 thoughts on “A Melting Pot

  1. Alright, Single Tracey… I’m just a random past infertile from Alabama that has been following you for oh, years now! I hope all works out on the Adoption front; Come on Kaz!! So my question:

    Have you considered an online website a la Match.com or eharmony or something? You are seriously cute and if I looked like you without makeup on I probably wouldn’t wear it;-) You DO have such a fun, bright personality, it’s obvious… hey, we all get worn down sometimes and lets face it, we blog to vent! You are not boring or I wouldn’t be here years later!;-)

    Life is short, girl! Get on it! Finding a good man even to just go grab coffee with occassionally is better than staring at your tv all night(just an example)… and who knows, you could meet Mr. Wonderful and get so much more!!! Just sayin…;-)

  2. Hmm…. I am going to have to put some thought into this question business! : ) When I ask you a question, I want to make it a good one… not some lammo one like “how cool do you think onemorebaby is?” Heehehee! xxoo!

  3. Have you tried asking him? I’m just wondering if he watched the same movie and is having the same thoughts. I think it’s scary for everyone.

    Hang in there (have you heard that enough yet?) and keep going out…it is good for you…even if you really want to sit on your couch and drink wine!

    Question: When you decided to adopt, did you encounter any people/agencies who gave you resistance b/c you’re single?

  4. Ok, gonna put my two cents worth in now! 😉 I agree with Christina up there at the top…this is NOT my question, but HAVE you considered or tried any of the popular online dating sites? The reason I’m wondering too is because I just had a cousin (who’s kind of like a brother to me) get married last Saturday….AND yes, he met his beautiful SWEET adorable bride on one of those sites (sorry, not sure which one in particular!) But also, I have two other cousins who met their brides on one of those sites and got married 3 years ago and are still happily married (unfortunately one isn’t so lovely and all that sweet stuff ~ ok, we hate her, but anyway, we just chalk that up to bad judgement on his part!) 🙂 My POINT is….I agree with Christina, give a whirl, Girl!!! Life is too short to be drinking wine alone!! And you are WAY too cute to be sippin’ single! 😉

    Now, for my question…hmmm….if for some reason you can’t proceed with Kaz to adopt, what country will be your second choice, and is it easy to just change locations, or is there a lot of red tape involved in that? I’m really praying for ya, Tracey! I KNOW how badly you want AND deserve this! No one is going to make a better mom than you! And as for why you’re still single…well, he just hasn’t been lucky enough to FIND you yet!!! 🙂

  5. I feel like I can relate to so much of the concept of burying oneself in IF for so long and just now working my way out of that and finding friends and myself and everything in between. Hugs to you.
    Question? The only one I can think of I’m not going to put on a blog.

  6. Hey, I feel you on the melting pot thing. We just had our dossier sent back even though it was sent to the Embassy. It feels like an eternal process. Thank goodness we have blogs to obsess over. Good luck in getting everything ready for September. We will be working on redoing things and trying desperately to belive that the universe unfolds perfectly as it should.

  7. you know, you’re cute and humorous in your blog posts..but I don’t think people get how amazing you really are until they meet you. You’re like a little whirlwind of fun, and my life was forever changed when you and your sister Deb walked into Papasitos that day. Love ya TFra.
    Now for my question….How well do you keep secrets? BAHAHA..just kidding. ehh hemmm. No, my real question is…what color sombrero do you want to wear in San Antonio?

  8. So glad to hear you are putting yourself out there again. I honestly thought you were one of the few who wasn’t hiding. I am so with you on making plans and then hoping they cancel.

    I feel for you not having a guy in your life to weather this with you. I think it would really help. That said, I did have (and still have) that great guy and I found I was wishing for a supportive mother to nurture me. With DH the nurturing needs to go both ways. My fairy godmother would do all the nurturing and I would do all the receiving.

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