No news good news???

Well I did get one bit of info from my agency yesterday.  Apparently one of their documents needed to have dates updated.  They have asked the coordinator if there is anything else, and they have not heard back yet.  I am crossing my fingers and toes that no response means that was the only issue.  I have responded to my agency by asking if this will be slowing down submission to the judge.  Lets see what they say.

I have been dreaming about MG a lot the last few days.  One night I woke up dreaming she hurt her knee while I was away.  Last night it was all good dreams filled with giggles and laughs and I actually think we were on our way home because we were at an airport.  She was in her carrier and in the dream it was like I could smell her and feel her weight in the carrier.

The waiting now is hard.  The first 5 weeks it wasn’t this bad.  Some moments I feel terribly sad and not myself.  Like I literally feel a piece of me that is far away.   I find myself daydreaming of her and the baby house most of my day.  I daydream of picking her up and playing with her.  I daydream about the day she and I are mother and daughter with consent of the law.  There are other moments that I am excited and anxious and just overflowing with happiness that we found each other.   The waiting and the emotional roller coaster of this part of the journey is very different from pre-travel. Don’t get me wrong, they both suck.  But for me, this part, after 7 weeks, is hurting my heart in a way it’s never hurt before.  I miss my girl…..

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6 thoughts on “No news good news???

  1. she’ll be home soon! *hugs* the waiting us the hardest part… no matter how you become a parent. and I think you’ve waited more than your fair share! I’m praying that September (as in, a few days from now!) bring very good news! 🙂

  2. Oh… I pray that this will go by so very quickly, and that you will have your daughter in your arms soon… It must be so hard, I can’t imagine! I hope today brings good news for you. xxoo.

  3. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. I can’t imagine. Try to keep yourself as busy as possible and hopefully you wlll get some really good news soon!

  4. I can’t even imagine how hard it is to be separated. And it makes perfect sense that this is harder than the rest of your journey. You know her! She is your daughter and you aren’t with her! Crap, crying just thinking of what that is like. I hope you hear good news soon.

  5. This is so heartbreaking…my husband put a spin on it that gets me through each day. I was feeling sad everyday because I wasn’t getting The Call…but he said one night “everyday we are one step closer.” I know it’s silly but I have taken comfort in this. It’s hard once you finish the paperwork because you have nothing to take your mind off the wait. I also think the paperwork feels like you are constantly doing something meaningful FOR HER…once that’s done and you are just waiting…kinda makes you crazy. Might be a good time to learn to knit 🙂

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