Well I did get one bit of info from my agency yesterday. Apparently one of their documents needed to have dates updated. They have asked the coordinator if there is anything else, and they have not heard back yet. I am crossing my fingers and toes that no response means that was the only issue. I have responded to my agency by asking if this will be slowing down submission to the judge. Lets see what they say.
I have been dreaming about MG a lot the last few days. One night I woke up dreaming she hurt her knee while I was away. Last night it was all good dreams filled with giggles and laughs and I actually think we were on our way home because we were at an airport. She was in her carrier and in the dream it was like I could smell her and feel her weight in the carrier.
The waiting now is hard. The first 5 weeks it wasn’t this bad. Some moments I feel terribly sad and not myself. Like I literally feel a piece of me that is far away. I find myself daydreaming of her and the baby house most of my day. I daydream of picking her up and playing with her. I daydream about the day she and I are mother and daughter with consent of the law. There are other moments that I am excited and anxious and just overflowing with happiness that we found each other. The waiting and the emotional roller coaster of this part of the journey is very different from pre-travel. Don’t get me wrong, they both suck. But for me, this part, after 7 weeks, is hurting my heart in a way it’s never hurt before. I miss my girl…..